Friday, August 13, 2010

I Blogged, No Big Whoop...

My regular readers, if you're still around, may remember that at least twice in the past I've gone into my "I'm going to die poor and alone" mental state. It happened again about a month ago now. In the past, as you may remember, this feeling coincided with getting dumped or rejected from a job. Sure the latter has happened but, truthfully neither event coincided with the feeling this time and that really bothered me. (Still sort of does...)

This may lead to real psychoanalysis later down the road but, for now, I've started vocational-related, but not vocational-specific, rehabilitation. So far, it's revealed a handful of things I never realized about my choices, which does not suggest they were bad choices but that they were simply done without me being aware I made them; like going to college. (Sure, grad school was conscious decision but college? Who knew?) I also, apparently, do not like the fact I'm only above average in math...Also my counselor shares my phobia of being on mountains. I really thought I was the only one...

We won't get into this in our sessions but I need to discuss this. In the past when I was dumped by women I reverted to stalking my past loves. With the advent of social media sites such as MySpace and Facebook, that has made that so much easier. Anyway, my "safety net", or "nets" actually, in this area have effectively been taken away. My first love is married and just had her first child. Recently, I discovered my second, or my "real" second in any case, is also now married. All this news has been both a trying and relieving experience. I no longer have to waste my time pining because nothing will ever happen but, of course, I still want to.

It is believed by my pastor that if I can get a job, the companionship angle will better fall into place. Sure, logically, that makes sense but it's so hard. Hence why I'm getting help in this area...

In other news, many f you are wondering why you can't buy my latest novella, Spring Thaw, on Amazon or wherever you prefer to go. Truth is, the book has been out since January but my publisher was dumped by one distributor, according to another source, and, according to Publish America themselves, another has the info but just isn't passing it along. One of these statements is undoubtedly true and both are believable if you read between the lines. In any case, you can purchase Spring Thaw, and my first book, Winter Storm, at the publisher's own site in their online store. I'm sure they're ridiculously overpriced...
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