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New Ramblings

I don't know who will read this let alone care as everyone seems to be having their own problems, some anyway being way more important but writing here has always helped at least little just writing it down.

I need a change. No, not just a short vacation. I need something to happen that will last at least 9 months. I'm not interested in getting more education as I'm stilling paying off the so far useless education I already possess. I've considered taking up the suggestion of my cousins and move to Portland but their are issues that I need to work out first. (It is true my temp agency has an office there.) One: I can't do anything like that until I get the knee situation figured out. If I do end up having surgery, I want to be home during my extensive rehab. If that sounds a bit childish, so what?

The second reason is more of a lasting complication and probably even more childish but the reason I do enjoy living at home is that I can do temp work to pay my two bills and still have money for fun purposes. If I moved out, I'd have to be concerned about food, rent etc and couldn't fall back on my father if I'm too short to pay the bills I already do.

Getting work is a big concern for me. A cousin pointed out people more disabled than myself get by all right. That's because they qualify for government assistance which I may not and some may actually be mentally handicapped but physically very strong. There seems to be so much more job opportunities for them. My disabilities aren't noticeable to people I want to see them (Thankfully, the opposite seems to be no longer true as I've gotten older.) so I get into situations like my last temp job. I'm tired of being in the gifted and talented program and then going to the special ed wing for physical therapy. Ok, that was grade school but it still kind of describes my life. Every assignment I go to practically, it's discovered I have a master's degree and they all surprised. I'm so tired of that. Part of me just wants to give up and move into a group home and do macaroni crafts all day which I may not have the hand-eye coordination to do anyway...

There is a reason for me to move to Portland though. I don't know if long distance relationships actually work but 6 hours is proving to be too much of a gap. If I can move even 4 hours closer, we may have more of a shot. I don't know. Maybe that's not enough of a good reason...

This quiz seems wholly inappropriate now but here it is:

You scored as Cyclops. Cyclops is the team leader of the X-Men, and a skilled one at that. He loves Jean Grey very much. He's a strict and sometimes uptight leader, but he believes in his cause and he knows what he's fighting for... Peace between Mutants and Humans. Powers: Optic blasts

Cyclops

80%

Iceman

70%

Jean Grey

70%

Nightcrawler

70%

Rogue

65%

Storm

60%

Beast

60%

Wolverine

55%

Colossus

50%

Emma Frost

50%

Gambit

45%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Comments

JRRyan said…
Well, at least we can all go through the Slough of Despondency together...

I think it makes sense that you're wanting to stay at home or at least go somewhere where there's family. But I'd advise against going anywhere to be nearer to your chickie because...if you're not happy professionally, you'll probably find it hard to be happy in a relationship. At least that's what I've found.

good luck, homie!
Likestrek said…
Maybe I have gone about this wrong. Maybe I should wait until I'm professionally happy before I pursue ways of being privately happy. It's so much more fun though!

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