Sunday, March 14, 2004

Everyday is a Winding Road

Ain't that the truth? There are literally days where I either don't even want to get out of bed or days I realize I just shouldn't have.

Right this second, I'm happy but just an hour ago I wasn't. In the shower I pondered the concept of meaningless sex. I mean if I'm not destined to find that special someone until I'm fifty or something that's not going to give me a lot of time for spreading the family name or genes.

This is where meaningless sex comes in. Ideologically speaking, I'm against this concept. Truthfully, I have only considered pre-marital sex (or at least sex with someone I definitely would never marry ever) at my most horniest and even then it sometimes was with a bag over her head...

Then another concept that is more excepted by 1950's society came to my mind. Meaningless dating. You laugh but this concept has always been foreign to me.

The closest I've ever come to it is when I asked Smonkess to the Senior Ball and that was truly meaningless: her boyfriend at the time had just gone home for the summer and she was in no mood to even joke about "fooling around." I think we danced once. Yes, Tracy and I did go out to dinner recently but that was certainly not a date. It was two roommates, if you will, eating together like we have done in the school cafeteria a handful of times before.

For some reason, I have to be emotionally invested before I even consider going on a date with someone. It's like I have to know where this is all going before I even bother.

Generally speaking, is physical attraction, for instance, all that needed?

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